Get a Pear!  I mean that to sound as macho and aggressive and silly as possible.  And here is the macho pear that you can get–a wheel-thrown stoneware bigger-than-life beauty impressed with real leaves, glazed in soothing celadon, and endowed with a thick stem, if you know what I mean.  It is presented upon a custom-made chunky, manly, live-edge walnut shelf, which can easily be installed on any wall of your house or office where you want to send out a secret message to whomever.  The shelf is 12″ long by 8″ high by 8.5″ deep.  The chunky pear is 10.5″ tall by 6″ in diameter.  Upon installation, I would recommend using gallery putty to secure the pear to the shelf.